By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
