I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
