DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i believe in u and ur pee
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
