no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
