Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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