if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
please come you make the beer taste better
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
