soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
