the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize