yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
