I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
