remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize