This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize