I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
