But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
