I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
