I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
