he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
it's like heaven, but drunker
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's official drugs can't kill me
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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