Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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