If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
