Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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