Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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