we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
