I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
