They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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