She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
