I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
