but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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