found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
