I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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