6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
