Already got asked if we're dating
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
