Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
