Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
