you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
