No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
