I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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