margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
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Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
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I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
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