literally had 100 drinks last night.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
