I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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