You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
