This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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