Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
