thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
