She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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