It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize
