so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
