I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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