You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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