He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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