Hey man sorry I got all grabby
now i know why i became what i already was.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
