well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
