Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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