just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
