It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize