If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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