I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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