Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
