I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
