please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
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Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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