Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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