i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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