I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
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Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
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Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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