Small penises have feelings too.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
